Positive Goals for a Positive Transformation
By
Setting Positive Goals for a Positive Transformation
By Terri Camp
As you begin to ponder and write out your goals, I want to encourage you to make your goals “Positive” rather than “Negative” goals. What’s the difference? Isn’t a goal a goal? No. Your success on meeting your goals will be hugely influenced by the attitude of the goal.
Most of us make goals that take away something from us, but we don’t replace it with something that is good for us. A lot of goals will say something like, “quit eating chocolate.” That’s a negative goal. A positive goal would be, “In place of my daily chocolate, I will have 3 apple slices.”
Your goal steps should be worded in a way that doesn’t make you feel a loss, but makes you feel like you are gaining. Simply reading over your goals will give a positive lift to you rather than a feeling that you are sacrificing.
I recommend really thinking about the changes you want to make in your life. I usually think about four areas of change. You may have different ones than I do.
The categories of change are: Spiritual, Personal, Professional, and Educational. Rather than using the word “change” I’m going to use the word, “transformation” because that’s what you’re doing; you’re transforming your life. Where you are now is fine, there isn’t anything wrong with you. Don’t look at goal setting as if there is something wrong that needs to be fixed, but rather that you are transforming your life, into a better version of you. Don’t “change” who you are; transform into what you want to be.
Using the four categories, make a list of the ways you would like to transform within each category.
As you create your goals, I also want you to think of the ways you are going to achieve those goals. I call those “Goal Steps.” A Goal Step is a small step which you repeat until you reach your final goal.
Here are some tips when creating goals.
#1 Be Realistic! You may want to have a Super Model body, but if you were born with a pear shopped body, it ain’t gonna happen. Be realistic!
#2 You can only set the goals for yourself. Don’t focus on getting other people to change. We can’t make anyone else change. Repeat after me, I can’t make anyone else change! If you really struggle with this, make it one of your goals. Write it on pieces of paper and affix it to everything! The only life I can transform is my own! When you find yourself wanting someone else to change, make it a positive and ask yourself how you can bless that person today.
#3 You have to be able to measure the results. Don’t be ambiguous with your goals or goal steps. You can say, Goal #1 Lose Weight. That’s not really measurable like that. You have to be specific. Here is an example of a goal and goal step. Goal: Lose 20 pounds by New Year’s Eve
#4 Set Goal Steps to achieve your goals a one step at a time. Goal Step #1 Lose 3 pounds per week by replacing the chocolate candy bar I eat every day with some chilled apple slices. Goal Step #2 Add Flax Seeds to my cereal in the morning Goal Step #3 Set a timer and eat a healthy snack or meal every three hours. As you progress and develop habits you can add new goal steps and replace the ones you have mastered.
#5 Don’t try to change everything in your life at one time. You’ll become overwhelmed and give up. We’re not striving for perfection, just transformation. You have plenty of time to adjust yourself — slowly.
#6 Internal Goals are important. We often focus on personal appearance, but it’s real important to dig deep and work on the attitude. What are you portraying to those around you? Goals that adjust those issues are often more important than the things other people can see.
#7 Have a written plan. It’s not enough to have an idea of transformations you want to make. You must have a written plan that you can refer to on a regular basis. Don’t jot them down on a napkin while sitting at a coffee shop sipping a latte, only to toss it in the trash later. The more you write them, the more ingrained in your life they will become. I’ve even gone so far as to create a scrolling screen saver with my goals running across the screen. There are probably products out there that do this for you if that’s one way to have it in front of you regularly.
#8 Be Accountable to someone Tell someone that you are setting these goals, then update them on your progress. This is one reason I’ve set up the community at http://www.tadahmoms.com so you can write out your goals, then share your progress.
#9 Celebrate your successes along the way Don’t wait for the big goal to be met, celebrate the steps that you’re taking. If one of your goals is to take a college course, celebrate every time you take a test – especially if you feel that you did your best. My dad used to tell me,
”You don’t have to be perfect, but I do expect you to do your best.” I tell that to my kids too. … and sometimes I have to remind myself.
#10 Replace – Don’t just remove If your goals are all about quitting something, then you will feel like you’re being deprived of life. You know you will feel like that even though you know you shouldn’t. For some reason when we have too many don’ts in our lives, we feel negative. Turn those negatives into positives by replacing the stuff you want to quit. If you’re a smoker, replace the cigarettes with money. Every time you didn’t smoke, deposit into some kind of bank the amount of money that a pack of cigarettes would have cost you. Before long, you have enough money for something grand! If you can’t think of a way to replace something, ask your friends, they may be able to give you ideas.
#11 Visualize yourself having met your goal For each goal, think about what it will be like for you to have met that goal. How will you look? How will you feel? How will others respond to you? How much money will you have? How will it feel to know that you have accomplished this? You may want to create a visualization board of what that would be like. Or maybe you’ll want to write it in your journal. Revisit this often – it will keep you going.
#12 Erase the word TRY from your vocabulary. Yoda said it well in Star Wars, now you have to live it well here. That little three-letter word gives you an option to fail. If you are planning to fail, why are you setting goals? You are setting goals for success. Think about how many times you say, “I’ll try.” Just think about it, the realization could change your life!
#13 You are only in control of the effort. The outcome will take care of itself. Let’s say you are wanting a new job. You cannot control if you get hired. However, you can control how many resumes you send out, how you look in the interview, and how prepared you are for the position. Make your goals about effort and less about the outcome.
#14 Plan for Success! Live as if you have met the goal. Plan a success party at the end of your time frame. Invite friends over for a “Super Goal Party” Better yet, participate with other Ta-Dah Moms for our “Super Goal Party” on Twitter. (more details will be coming as you follow through the “New You by the New Year” Program)
What is one positive goal for a positive transformation that you would like to make today?
